Learning the Secrets of Baby Behavior

February 9, 2022 Infant

Wouldn’t it be great if your baby came with an instruction book? A book that described your baby’s every face and action and what they meant? Well, if you look closely you’ll see that you really can “read” your baby like a book! Your little one is born with a special language they want you to know — it’s the language of sounds and movement.

In fact, knowing your baby’s “language” — also called cues — can help them grow and develop in a healthier way. Research done at the University of California, Davis with the California WIC Program found that when parents understand what their baby is “saying,” breastfeeding is more successful and overfeeding is less likely. When parents understand their baby’s language, they can respond to their babies quicker, which can mean less crying, less stress and a happier family.

Why do Babies Cry?

Crying is a baby’s superpower — after all, who can ignore a baby’s cry? But, before a baby begins to cry, they will first try to “tell” you in other ways that they need something. If baby’s needs aren’t met, they will tell you they really need something to be different by crying. Once a baby cries, it takes a while to calm them to find out what they need. By paying attention to their cues, you can keep the tears away and save time and stress.

Reasons Babies Cry

Sometimes it may be hard to know exactly what a crying baby is trying to tell you. Many parents think that when babies cry, it always means they’re hungry, but actually, there are many reasons that babies cry:

  • Dirty diaper
  • Tummy ache
  • Too hot or too cold
  • Uncomfortable such as clothes or blanket too tight
  • Tired or sick
  • Scared or startled
  • Too much light
  • Too much noise
  • Bored or lonely
  • Hungry
  • Wants to be near you
  • Too many people
  • Needs a break, or something to be different

How to Read Your Baby

If you pay attention to your baby’s cues, you can often figure out what they want or need early on and keep your baby from crying. Some of their cues may be hard to spot, so watch closely!

“I’m Hungry”

These are some ways your baby tells you they’re hungry:

  • Makes sucking noises
  • Puckers lips
  • Keeps hands near mouth
  • Sucks on fist or fingers
  • Searches for the nipple (rooting)
  • Bends arms and legs
  • Pull hands and knees toward face
  • Cries if other cues are ignored

“I Want to be Near You”

When your baby is happy with what they are doing, they show it. They enjoy hearing you talk and sing or they may just want to watch what you are doing. These cues mean your baby wants to be with you:

  • Has a relaxed face and body
  • Follows your voice and face
  • Reaches toward you
  • Stares at your face
  • Raises their head
  • Looks happy

“I Need Something to Be Different”

Babies get tired easily — learning and playing is hard work! Don’t be surprised if after a few minutes of happily watching you, they show that they need a break:

  • Breathes faster
  • Moves hand to ear
  • Extends fingers
  • Looks away, turns body away
  • Arches back
  • Frowns or has a glazed look
  • Stiffens hands, arms or legs
  • Yawns or falls asleep
  • Cries

Babies sometimes show signs of both wanting to be near you and needing something to be different — this can be confusing! Also, a baby’s movements and sounds can change very quickly so it’s important to watch closely and look for a pattern to their cues.

Keep in mind that newborns cry one to four hours a day — and sometimes for no reason besides trying to adjust to their new environments! Don’t take your baby’s crying personally and stay relaxed. You can’t “spoil” a baby; responding to cues quickly will make them feel secure and happy. Remember, Happy Baby — Happy Family!

“I’m full.”

This is how your baby tells you they are finished eating:

  • Sucks slower or stops sucking
  • Relaxes hands and arms
  • Turns away from the nipple
  • Pushes away
  • Falls asleep
  • Cries if not allowed to stop eating

When it gets confusing:

Sometimes when a baby gets fussy during a feeding, you may think they’re telling you they want to eat more. This is when parents sometimes encourage a baby to keep nursing or finish the bottle but what they are really saying is they need something to be different.

Your baby may be telling you:

  • I’m finished eating
  • I need you to change my position so I can nurse better
  • The flow of breast milk or formula is too fast
  • I’m gassy and need to burp
  • I need a diaper change

How to Calm a Crying Baby

Sometimes babies just cry — learning how to sooth them is an important job for new parents! Here are a few ideas:

Repeat the Same Action Over and Over Again:

  • Hum or sing softly to your baby
  • Rock in a chair or while standing
  • Rub your baby’s back
  • Provide background noise, like from a fan

Cuddle and Hold:

  • Holding or rocking skin-to-skin
  • Swaddling

Change of Scenery:

  • Take a quick walk outside with baby
  • Face baby towards a window to look out
  • Take baby for a car ride in their car seat

Be patient. It may take a few minutes of doing the same thing for your baby to calm down. If you feel yourself getting angry, take a break. Never shake your baby — instead:

  1. Put your baby in their crib or bassinet.
  2. Leave the room and take some deep breaths.
  3. Once you have calmed down, try to soothe your baby again, or get a friend or partner to help.
hand-expierence

HAND EXPRESSION

How it works

Use your hand to gently massage and compress your breast to remove milk.

What’s Involved

  • Requires practice, skill, and coordination.
  • Gets easier with practice and can be as fast as pumping.
  • Good if you are not often away from your baby or you need an option that is always with you. All moms should know how to hand express, in case they need to do it unexpectedly.

Average Cost

Free

Side-Lying

Side-Lying Hold

  1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
  2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
  3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
  4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You want to rest while baby feeds
  • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
cross-cradle

Cross-Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
  2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
  3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is premature
  • Your baby has a weak suck
  • Your baby needs help to stay latched
  • Your baby needs extra head support
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
Football

Clutch or “Football” Hold

  1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
  2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
  3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You have large breasts
  • You have flat or inverted nipples
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You are breastfeeding twins
  • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
  • Your baby has reflux
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
CRADLE hold

Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
  2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
  3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby needs help latching on
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
laid-back

Laid-Back Hold

  1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
  2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
  3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You have large breasts
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position